Lovely
by Ly Merrick
Summary: After the accident, Quinn is informed that there may be semi-permanent scarring on her face, among the other more serious injuries.  In attempting to soothe Quinn's fears, Rachel reveals a little more than she ever intended to.  One-shot


Title: Lovely

Pairing: Quinn/Rachel

Synopsis: After the accident, Quinn is informed that there may be semi-permanent scarring on her face, among the other more serious injuries. In attempting to soothe Quinn's fears, Rachel reveals a little more than she ever intended to. (One-shot.)

Author's Note: Written for chrismukkah on tumblr (to be found at .com) who came up with the original idea and requested for it to be written. :)

###

The wedding never happened. Rachel realized, standing there in her white dress, that if she couldn't have her wedding without _Quinn, _she shouldn't be having it at all. The worst part was Finn's expression the moment she tearfully shook her head and said, "I can't do this." He had a way of making her feel guilty, a kind of guilt that sat on her shoulders and pressed her into the ground. She barely managed to get a tearful apology out to Finn and everyone who had put so much effort into supporting her decision (in hindsight, a very stupid one) before dashing out of the room.

Will Schuester found her perhaps twenty minutes later. "It's Quinn," he breathed in a panting sort of way.

"She's here?"

"No."

Something about his tone, something about the way he was hesitantly searching Rachel's face to see if she could handle what he was about to say told her that this was wrong. Something was wrong with Quinn. What could have happened?

"She's been in a car accident."

In Rachel's head, all she saw was _ON MY WAY _like a glaring red flag. Her tears increased tenfold. At some point, Will must have decided to take him and the other glee kids along to see Quinn at the hospital. She couldn't bare to look at the unconscious girl, and could not remember how she arrived there. She could only conceive that she was still in her wedding dress, and someone had taken the bouquet from her hands some time ago. She couldn't bare to look at the girl who she had likely been to blame for her current state. Someone who very quickly and very finally over all this time, overcome all her obstacles and managed to become friends with Rachel (a thing she could have never dreamed) ... at this her thoughts trailed off into silence. She could only tell that she was crying again when Tina's arm slipped around her and pulled her into an embrace. Nobody questioned why Rachel was taking Quinn's accident so hard.

Guilt pressed on her, but what was more, the emptiness of loss sucked at her bones as if they were there to take the very marrow from her.

###

It took Rachel two days to visit Quinn unaccompanied. The first thing she said to the sleeping girl was, "I'm sorry." She pulled the chair as close to the hospital bed as possible, folded her legs beneath her, and gently reached over to take Quinn's hand. The skin was soft, and she held it as much as she could considering the IV attachments. Stroking her thumb over Quinn's palm, she wondered why she had never been able to do this before - and why she was doing it now. Tears filled her eyes. "It's all my fault. All of it." The wedding. Asking Quinn to come. Texting Quinn while she was on her way. If it had not been for Rachel's impulsive and guilt-ridden decision to marry Finn, she would not be here in a hospital room, looking upon the girl she'd put here.

A rasping, breathy sound escaped Quinn. She had bandages very carefully wrapped around her face. The doctor had mentioned - from the fragments Rachel could remember - that the driver's side window had shattered from the impact, resulting in damaging injuries not only to Quinn's legs and torso, but to her face. "It wasn't."

Quinn's voice caused Rachel to cry, press her forehead to Quinn's bed. The hand she had still been holding gently disengaged, and weakly stroked Rachel's hair until she stopped crying.

###

Rachel was there when the doctor delivered the news - there would be semi-permanent facial scarring. This was _after _he had already told Quinn that she would not have use of her legs for six months to a year. The old Quinn may have been far more upset about the facial scarring than the use of her legs, but this new Quinn only clenched her eyes shut as a few tears slipped from her eyes. The doctor had continued to rattle on until Judy asked the doctor to come back later.

Quinn's mother had been there almost as often as Rachel had. Rachel's fathers had requested that she come home to rest, but she had insisted for the past few nights that she be allowed to stay with Quinn. Quinn did not object.

At the moment, Judy was trying to comfort her daughter and failing. She was saying that they could always take her to a plastic surgeon, someone who could fix the damage. Without knowing she would only make it worse, Judy began talking about how burn victims and people with heinous facial scarring could go back to looking _almost _normal.

It was Rachel who asked if she could talk to Quinn _alone. _Judy, confused, obliged and left the room, likely to flirt with the handsome boy nurse she had seen there and about while she was visiting her daughter. Instead of talking to Quinn about her scarring, she reached out and hesitantly took Quinn's hand. She didn't think Quinn wanted to hear anymore right now. So Rachel gently twined her fingers in Quinn's - again, wondering why she had never done this sooner and why she was doing it now - and let the girl close her eyes and rest.

It took an hour or two for Quinn to fall asleep, Rachel's thumb trailing over the side of Quinn's hand. The brunette had brushed Quinn's hair for her just before she'd fallen asleep, and took the opportunity to move some of it out of the way of the bandages soon to be removed.

Quinn would never be ugly. No matter what Quinn thought or what Judy thought Quinn would need after her recovery, Rachel knew that Quinn would never be ugly or disfigured. The scars would disappear over time and with the proper supplements, and she would be just as beautiful as before. Even if the scars never went away, Quinn would still be beautiful. Not just to Rachel but to the rest of the world. The diva watched the Cheerio sleep, and stroked her palm.

###

It was late one night when Rachel decided she could no longer just sit in silence. Sleeping in the cramped chair (yes, cramped even for a girl of Rachel's size), she'd woken up to the sound of Quinn's breathing and checked to be sure she was alright. Relieved, she found herself more awake now and figured she would rather savor these moments with Quinn. It was day six in the hospital for Quinn, and Rachel had stayed for four of them. She'd only left once long enough to change clothes and shower the day before. When the brunette returned, she'd found she'd missed the Cheerio far more in that short one-hour interval than she could rightfully explain.

Rachel began speaking before she could stop herself. Quietly, in hushed tones, she moved close enough to the bed that she could feel the body heat radiating from Quinn. "Quinn, you'll never be _ugly. _I know that's what you're thinking. You won't even be disfigured. You've always been the most beautiful girl I've ever known. Always," the words were soft, and Rachel laughed in reminiscence, "I mean, after all, I wanted your nose, didn't I? To say you have a nose more perfect than Barbra ... that's really saying something, isn't it? You're so much more than your face or a few small scars. Nobody's going to notice that. You're beautiful because of everything else. Your smile, your laugh, even your sarcasm. You're so smart, Quinn. You're going to Yale, for goodness' sake. You have to be smart to get in there. Even so ... " Rachel had lost herself in the monologue, and did not realize Quinn's breathing had changed, " ... you'll always be physically beautiful. Even in your old age, when you've forgotten all about me and this place and the scars you'll wear for just a little while. You're so, _so _lovely, Quinn. There aren't words for it. You smile, when you really smile, like when you told us all about Yale ... my heart just ... it felt like it was going to explode. It made me feel...so many things, to see you really smile like that. No matter what you look like, Quinn, I'm always going to love you as much as I do right now."

Quinn's face could not have looked more confused and surprised than it did in that moment. She clutched onto Rachel's hand, as if (later Rachel would think upon this) she was trying to make Rachel's words real, to be sure that she wasn't dreaming. It was the strength of her grip that pulled Rachel's eyes to the face, the expression that was now staring back at her in utter disbelief. "What?"

Rachel, a deer in the headlights by all accounts, could not move, or speak. Her mouth dropped open. She couldn't make sense of what she had just said, _why _she had said it, _why _she could not get married without Quinn and _why _she had been wanting Quinn to _be _at the wedding and what was more - to stop it. To give her a reason to stop the wedding. It clicked, in milliseconds or years she could not be sure, and Rachel almost ran. Yet, the grip on her hand was so firm that she couldn't have run if she tried. "I'm .. I'm .. Quinn, I'm so ... "

Quinn's voice was thick with emotion, "Rachel," she whispered Rachel's name in a way that made Rachel ache all over, "Did you just say that you ... "

"M-m-maybe, it depends on how able you are to punch me in the face. Avoid my nose," the brunette whispered and clamped her eyes shut.

"You love me?"

Tears fell from Rachel's eyes inexplicably, "I suppose I mean .. yes. I do."

"...In the ... more than friends way?"

Rachel nodded, eyes still shut. She was waiting for the blow. For the demand to leave.

"How long?"

"I - I don't know. I suppose it's ... been over time."

"Rachel."

Still, the brunette's eyes remained shut.

"Rachel," the voice was more firm now, "look at me." The voice was a plea. Quinn was pleading with her.

As Rachel opened her eyes, she realized Quinn's eyes were shining with emotion and tears, mingling together as subtly as they had been (in retrospect) that day in the hallway when she'd agreed to come to the wedding.

"Do you mean it?"

Rachel nodded, feeling the grip on her hand loosen. "I meant every word of it." She didn't know what to make of Quinn's response just yet. Emotion gripped her, and tears filled her eyes.

The blonde did something unexpected. She tugged on Rachel's hand, as if to imply she get up from her chair. Yet when she did just that, Quinn tugged again. As if to imply ... she lay in bed _with _Quinn. She didn't know if she could. Yet when she saw the free-flowing emotion coming from Quinn, the tears now slipping from those perfect hazel eyes, she couldn't very well say _no. _So she slipped into bed beside Quinn, amazed at the small hospital bed's ability to encase them both perfectly. Careful of Quinn's injuries, she felt the blonde tuck her fragile frame into Rachel and hold on with more strength than the brunette expected from the Cheerio.

She felt hot tears on her neck as Quinn buried her face there. She closed her eyes, held Quinn close. Strong arms gripped at Rachel's shoulders, palms digging into her shoulderblades. It was then it all fell into place. The secondary reason Quinn had so adamantly opposed the marriage. The torture in their earlier years. The way Quinn had _always _looked at her, even when she was trying to hate Rachel. Without even having to hear it, she knew that Quinn had loved her. Quinn loved her now, and had always done so even if she had not known it herself.

"Please don't let me go," Quinn breathed tearfully against Rachel's neck.

"Never."

###

The nurses found them like that, wrapped in one another's arms, but made no show of it. They only gently woke Rachel and had her move to her chair, saying that Quinn needed to be careful of her injuries, and reminding them both the bandages were coming off today. The stitches would have dissolved and they'd be able to assess the long-lasting damage.

When they'd shown Quinn, and Judy had seen, it was Rachel whom Quinn looked to. "Is it bad?"

Rachel shook her head, reached over and found Quinn's hand. With her own free hand, she reached across Quinn and gently touched the skin near the scarring, careful of any wounding. "You're just as lovely as ever."

Quinn's smile was her reward. Rachel squeezed the hand in her own gently, and her eyes did not leave the hazel ones steadily locked on her own.


End file.
